7 Things What My Mum Taught Me

1. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
2. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
3. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
4. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
5. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
6. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
7. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can bring you back."